Donald Trump’s Medical Disclosure is a Real Hoot

Both Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump released what purport to be letters from their doctors testifying to their good health. Hillary Clinton’s is the normal sort of letter, showing her to be in general good health with the types of minor problems one would expect to find in a person over 60. There is nothing unusual about it, so I will not bore you by analyzing it here.

Donald Trump’s letter, on the other hand, is a real hoot. It is definitely not the type of letter that one would expect a doctor to write. It appears to have been written by Donald Trump himself. I’ve inserted a copy of the letter below this paragraph.

donaldtrumpdoctorletter

The first thing that stands out is the typo in the salutation: My instead of May. However, let’s give that one a pass. I make many typos in my posts, and I concede that a doctor could do the same.

The first sentence that really jumps out occurs in the first paragraph: “Mr. Trump has had a recent complete medical examination that showed only positive results.” Either that sentence was not written by a doctor or Donald Trump is very, very sick. When a doctor runs a series of tests on you, you hope that all of the results turn out negative, meaning that there is nothing wrong with you. If the sentence is to be believed, Trump tested positive for every malady that the doctor checked. HIV? Positive! Advanced dementia? Positive! Head lice? Positive! Scabies? Positive! I don’t really know what conditions the doctor tested for, but if the letter were authentic, Donald Trump would have all of them.

The last sentence of the first paragraph states that his blood pressure and test results “were astonishingly excellent.” “Astonishingly excellent” is not doctor-speak. However, it is the type of expression that Donald Trump uses ad nauseum.

Trump-speak shows up again at the end of the second paragraph: “His physical strength and stamina are extraordinary.” Unless he were examining the gold medal winner in the Olympic weight lifting contest, “extraordinary” is not a word that a doctor would use in that context. Donald Trump, however, would use it, even though he is no Samson.

The real kicker comes in the final sentence: “If elected, Mr. Trump, I can state unequivocally, will be the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency.” How would the doctor know that? Did he examine George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Abraham Lincoln? It seems very obvious that no doctor wrote that sentence. Again, that is the type of unsubstantiated claim that Donald Trump himself would make.

The extraordinary thing is not that Donald Trump seems to have faked the letter, it is that he had no one familiar with medical terminology look it over and tell him how ridiculous it is. Donald Trump trusts no one but himself to criticize his statements, which means that we can expect to see this sort of bizarre incident throughout the campaign.

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